Demetrish Unfiltered

 Have you ever been in a space where you feel so stuck that you think that things in your life will not change unless you change something about it? I am to the point now where I feel that the word stuck may be a little underrated. I thought I didn't have a zone that needed to be stepped out of, but boy, was I wrong. I have been a manager for over 17 years, and I have led and have been led in those years. I am very good at it, but I have never been more than that. Not to say that I couldn't just have never been given the opportunity. You could have never told me in a million years that I would be where I am today, and I say that in a negative way. Sometimes I feel as if I have lost all of the knowledge I used to have to get up and keep trying, and I do. I fall mentally, emotionally, and definitely physically, but I never give up. I am just hoping that one day I will start and keep pushing through so I can have all the things, adventures, and prizes I am so due. If you ever feel...

 Have you ever woken up from a good night's sleep wondering if today will be better or different from the day before? That may be a stupid question but hear me out. So, think about it this way, some days you may think about it and say I wonder what today will be like and go about your day, but then there is that one day where you find yourself really stressing about that day seriously in a way that it makes you a little nervous to go through it. I am at that point today...and it is already over. I feel like I am so close to being a human robot, with the same routine every day, and I want to change it, but I feel stuck. Like I am racing with something, time, people, just something, and I may be behind. I remember when I was younger, I wasn't active, I was super shy, never had to worry about my weight, and I never worried about what I would become when I grew up. I had plans, plans to leave my hometown and become well-known all over the world. I would travel, sing, make lots of m...

 That old saying where you should never be too old to learn??? I used to think it would be a minute before I experienced that, but I was very wrong. The very time I let my guard down and get comfortable, I had the opportunity to be in a place where knowledge was not my power. I honestly had been pretty ignorant when it came to finances and money managing and just being able to say where my money had gone, but one day i came to the realization that i was getting too old to be still spending recklessly and not knowing where half of my money had gone until I needed it and then I had none. I reached a hard realization, and I had to turn to my daughter. She had been patient with me for so long that it was embarrassing. Some of it was lost to me trying to hang with the Jones, who was trying to hang with the Jones, meaning someone who didn't have it to spend either. It was the lost trying to lead the lost, and that was so sad. After all, in that case, birds of a feather did flock together...

 You know...there is nothing like seeing family and coming together to celebrate, laugh together, eat, and have an amazing time. Still, when it involves you coming together to mourn a loved one, it makes it even more special. We can send our loved one away, wonderfully, and still sit around and reminisce on things we all remember about that person. The only thing about that, to me, is that this should not be the only reason family should come together. We always say that time waits for no one, or life is too short, or you never know when we will get this time again, when in actuality, someone should just go ahead and act on it, call each other on their bluff, and see if we really take those phrases to heart. We should all stop making excuses and just find the solution. We find it for everything else, so why not for family??? 

I have been an empty nester for a while now, and it wasn't until a couple of years ago that I realized it. See, I only have one child, and I guess I never thought ahead to this point. Let's say that I am very late to the party. I have spent as much time as I could with my daughter, until the day she left the house for good became a shock to me. I thought she would always be at home. She was so shy and quiet and loved her mommy, so I never thought that she would want to leave the nest. Years later, I sit here and wonder where all those years went, and what happened to all of the things I said I would do once she started to have her own life. It seems as if life has passed me by, and sometimes I feel like I am at a standstill, because now I am dumbfounded as to what do I do next, and is it too late to do it? Now I find myself trying to play catch-up while I watch my daughter blossom into this beautiful little bird who has found its wings, and although I know she is a very strong ...